This seems to be the state of mind that fuels my creativity lately.
It's the same old shit every creative type deals with. The ever looming sense of doubt and despair that comes with the question we all ask-
Is it possible to make a successful living doing artwork?
Ok. I rarely babble on about my personal life in my blogs or other internet forums. I try to keep it lite and without too much grumbling. Nothing is more boring that reading about how much their life sucks. I personally think it hurts your internet presence. It turns people off, and I'm here plugging away with my artwork to turn people on.
But I am Frustrated.
I've been doing this for years and very little has come from it. I don't have people flooding my inbox with requests for artwork. I get a few "nice job"'s here n' there. A small following. A nice commission request that I truly,truly appreciate. But I am desperately in need of getting to "The Next Level." So, here I am, getting desperate. Getting whiny and grasping for some nugget of hope that I am not completely wasting my time.
And, I need a release just like everyone else. And, mayhaps, someone can lay some enlightenment on me.
So, here I go. I'll plaster some artwork here n' there to break up the words for those only interested in the pictures(and that is IF there's anyone interested in the pictures). It's gonna be a long post, so you might want to take a bathroom break, get comfortable and follow along. Especially if you are a creative in the same crappy situation. Cuz I wanna hear from you, and how you deal with it all. Even those who are in the same leaky boat.
Here's a painting I did just a few days ago so you have something to look at-
I spend alot of time trying to find my niche' in a world full of others just like me looking for theirs. I read all the articles that can be found on the web about "How to market your art", "how to use social media to become a successful artist", how to "brand yourself",-blah,blah,blah. Some say to create a blog to help viewers identify with you. Use the blog to show the creative process. Use the blog so that clients and employers can get a sense of who you are so they can hire you. Use it to connect to other artists. So, yeah, I've done that. For quite some time. And though I truly appreciate those that do follow me on the Twitters & the Facebooks & the numerous blogs I've created, very little of it has garnered much attention. Hell, most of the people that follow me are family, friends and old co-workers. Of course they think my work is awesome. I think they're work is awesome too.,But I can only milk them for so many commissions. It may keep me in paper & paints, but it doesn't pay the bills. And it doesn't ever lead to permanent employment with someone that furthers your career. I've got looming student loans that somehow need to be paid off. Medical bills that don't get paid. The same crap every person, much less an artist, has to deal with.
I can immediately hear the responses already.
"Why don't you go out and get a real job?"
"Maybe you're just not very good."
"Nobody cares about art"
"What makes you so special?"
"Join the club."
"Who are you and why are you glaring at me?"
Like I said earlier, I don't really wish to get too much into my personal life. But, working a real job is kind of difficult for me right now. Health issues, where I live and such, has put a big ka-bosh on all that. And really, artwork, the kind I do, is really all I'm any good at. It's the one thing I know I can do with some degree of "good". It's what I am passionate about. It's what I want to do more than anything else in the world. And, I'm crazy about it. The same thing any artist does what they do. I will do it regardless of whether I make a dime off it or not. It's something I HAVE TO DO. I live it, breathe it and consume it. I'm crappy at everything else(well, I'm pretty good at making popcorn,but I digress). And even this, the artwork I do, has such a limited degree of employment opportunities. I live and breathe ink, paint, pencil and pastels. I dabble with digital tools. But I absolutely hate 3d computer programs. I have no patience for animation. And, frankly, I'm sick of looking at digital art. Of course, there are exceptions, but it all seems so lifeless to me. And, it all looks the same. I'm sick of hyper realistic looking computer art. It doesn't have a "style" to it.If you want "lifelike" then just take a fucking picture. I want stylistic renderings with real life textures and brush strokes. So, yeah, good luck with me finding any work there, too. No one wants an artist that uses something other than a computer monitor and a way too expensive graphic program. To ME, It's like making love with a blow up doll. Sure, it can get you off, but it won't make you eggs in the morning.
OK, so I DO like to play around with digital tools to ENHANCE my artwork, so maybe I'm just talking out of my ass-
Ok, ok. Yeah, Those kind of remarks are sure to limit my possibilities. And, truthfully, I'm open for anything. I'm just spewing out FRUSTRATION like everyone else on the interwebz does. But, I know what I am good at, what my weaknesses are, where I fit into it all. If I could go back in time I would go back to the time when artists painted magazine and book covers like the old pulps and horror comics. Back in time when movie posters were a work of art in and of themselves before photoshoppers just plastered the big heads of actors over a movie title. But, alas, those days are no more.
So, why do I still clammer on about this? A big case of the sour grapes? Why me's and eff you's?
No. I may be FRUSTRATED, but I still think there are people out there that want to pay for my kind of art. I think there still is a place for me. I just can't seem to find THEM and THEY have a million others like ME hounding THEM for work. It's really about doing something to get THEIR attention. To stand out amongst the THEM. So, if you are one of THEM, HEY! I'M OVER HERE! LOOK AT ME!
(I'm short, so I haveta stand up on a chair and wave my hands to get anyone's attention).
And I'm not a very competitive person. That's my biggest weakness. I don't like imposing myself onto others. Is it a case of being insecure about my work? I guess it depends on who it's coming from. If James Warren still had CREEPY & EERIE magazines being published and asked me to do artwork for them, I KNOW I COULD DO IT! But if you want me to design your website and animate a PIXAR cartoon, well, good luck with that. It ain't gonna happen.
I would be more than happy to do your comic book character wearing a pair of "JUICY" shorts for ya ,tho!
So, I want to hear from you, whether you are an artist or not, on what you do to get to "The Next Level." Do you think I'm shooting myself in the foot by rambling on about something that there is just no answer to? Do you want me to draw you in a pair of "Juicy" shorts? And if you are a "creative", how do you find your way to success?
I'm reaching out because I'm tired of being frustrated. It's boring and it's such a cliche. And I don't want to fall into that trap.
Oh, and if you need any commissions, or if you are one of the peoples that are in charge of the big bucks, or know someone who is, why, or why wouldn't you hire me? Or maybe, pass on some of my work to get me to the next level(that's me assuming you give a rat's ass about me getting to the next level).
And if all else fails, put a bird on it(or in my case, a praying mantis).
I don't want to hear any smart ass comments. I'll delete those cuz all they do is waste my time. I want constructive criticisms. Words of honest opinions. A few leads here n' there would be nice too. Cuz, I'm not giving up. In fact, if anything, maybe I'll be making more of a spectacle of myself to get your attention. If I have too, I'll flood the internets with more of my presence to get your attention. Maybe, I'll learn how to write correctly so I make some kind of sense.
This is all I know how to do.
How do you do the only thing you know how to do?
A commission I LOVED DOING for someone who LOVES WHAT I DO-
Ok. There, I spewed out some of my frustrations on you. I hope I didn't lose you in it all. I'm actually betting more people feel like I do than those that don't. I won't wallow in it, the negatives and the grumbleness(he he, I made up a word!) of it all. I'll carry on and keep slugging forward with my art and such.
And IF you're interested you can find more of my art work at
http://ragzdandelion.deviantart.com/
http://ragzdandelion.carbonmade.com/
http://www.bluecanvas.com/ragzdandelion
http://ragzdandelion.livejournal.com/
http://www.artbreak.com/Ragzdandelion
Listen when I tell ya, you got no time for fix
Cus I just gotta make it, cant afford to miss
And there's one reason, I'm tellin you this
I feels bad....
And I'm lookin for a kiss
-The New York Dolls "Looking For A Kiss"
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